let my heart sing
when I skip in joy
let my heart sing
when I shed a tear
let my heart be true
when indeed I touch you
let my heart fail not
when I gently kiss you
I heard of a love like our love
and a fairytale I thought it was
I tried and tried so many times
I sought and sought and lost myself
now I sing for the tears and I sing for the joy
and sing for the realness of my heart and the trueness of my soul
I have the joy, and the tears gleam back at me as diamonds do
love is in my heart . . . I love you soul
love is in my soul . . . I love you heart
love is so true now
so true
that share it I cannot hold myself back to
Leoni
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Monday, September 14, 2009
Simply Going for a Dog Walk
A walk, a journey, a path; a quest for self discovery, love and fulfillment, that's what I'm on. Sometimes this, whatever it is, leaves me feeling exhilarated and high, at other times sober, and at other times frustrated and sad. I try to see things positively, have confidence in myself, but as I think I'm making progress, things change color on me and slap me in the face. The last slap left it's imprint in me for at least five days. Finally, today, I feel much better and have managed to be quite productive. However, I look back on the occurrence and still feel a stab in the heart renewed. How can something appear so true and be so false? Could I have made things better? Why can't I fix this? I want to fix it.
We started dating two months ago. At first impression, I saw a nice guy and someone I would not mind being friends with and even dating. I was not sure I would actually like him like him, but I was still hung up on the last guy and couldn't see or feel much further. Unfortunately, as well, I kept comparing him to the last one and that made it difficult for him to measure up. However, he seemed sweet, kind, caring, easy on my eye and he kept calling at least once a week to ask me out, so I kept on seeing him. After two or three dates, it seemed things wouldn't go anywhere, but I talked to one of my friends about it and decided to drop the walls I had built around me and to give him a chance. I made myself vulnerable, and as he finally put it to me, we went from "zero to serious." Except of course he added, "too fast." So, after almost two months (and 7 dates), I started caring about "B," but it all went down hill. Now I'm left feeling that I wish he had talked to me about what he was feeling beforehand and I wish he had dropped the walls around him a little more, even if slowly. How can you get to know someone better if you don't do that? I am so frustrated and sad about it. I know we did not date long and I'll get over this, but I hate feeling that something that had potential good went down the drain. So, there, I vented.
We started dating two months ago. At first impression, I saw a nice guy and someone I would not mind being friends with and even dating. I was not sure I would actually like him like him, but I was still hung up on the last guy and couldn't see or feel much further. Unfortunately, as well, I kept comparing him to the last one and that made it difficult for him to measure up. However, he seemed sweet, kind, caring, easy on my eye and he kept calling at least once a week to ask me out, so I kept on seeing him. After two or three dates, it seemed things wouldn't go anywhere, but I talked to one of my friends about it and decided to drop the walls I had built around me and to give him a chance. I made myself vulnerable, and as he finally put it to me, we went from "zero to serious." Except of course he added, "too fast." So, after almost two months (and 7 dates), I started caring about "B," but it all went down hill. Now I'm left feeling that I wish he had talked to me about what he was feeling beforehand and I wish he had dropped the walls around him a little more, even if slowly. How can you get to know someone better if you don't do that? I am so frustrated and sad about it. I know we did not date long and I'll get over this, but I hate feeling that something that had potential good went down the drain. So, there, I vented.
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